A Farewell

Posted on February 13, 2015 by Manu Powers

The day my mother died, November 15, 2014, she spoke incessantly. Not necessarily to me, but to someone. Judging by her end of the conversation, someone understanding and kind. They laughed and chatted about all sorts of things ranging from dark … Continue reading →

You can keep that worm…..

Posted on May 11, 2014 by Manu Powers

Let’s lay in bed, my love. Let’s not rush Let’s let the sun emerge from behind the mountain and the details of the world outside the window to appear in due time. Let’s tangle our legs and entwine our fingers … Continue reading →

Patience, grasshopper.

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Manu Powers

I suppose I was feeling invincible. Perhaps buoyed by the Holidays, I foolishly believed my uplifted spirit could overcome all odds. In retrospect, I find my naivety charming, laughable. The irony is that I know better. On any other day, … Continue reading →

Dear Billie….

Posted on December 12, 2012 by Manu Powers

How could you have ever been a question? How could there have ever been a doubt? My love for my sons consumed every moment of every day. Shaping each thought, influencing each decision. Their love like a blanket: covering me, sheltering and insulating me from that which did not matter. And that is how I knew what to expect. What your presence would mean. But there was still fear. The days were busy with errands, crafts, swimming, baths, cooking & eating then cleaning, books, playing and load upon load of laundry. Surely your arrival meant I would be thoroughly exhausted. Frayed and torn between children, and the tasks that make up my the business of my life. And then there is your father- my best friend, my love and the impetus for all of this. Surely there is not enough of me for all of you. Will there be enough time in the day to sit across from each of you and make you feel heard? To look each of you in the eyes and listen. I passed 10 sick months throwing up and cultivating these horrible thoughts. And then, you were here. Lovely and luminescent with your pale skin and dark eyes. And suddenly everything was quiet. The inner dialogue ceased to exist. The love of my boys cocooned me in bliss, but you filled me with contentedness, which, in turn, gave me something I’ve never known before: peace. This life that I’ve spent every day designing and orchestrating, this life made up of a million silly little mundane details, suddenly seemed……real. As if I had completed the construction phase of a home and was now free to move in. Put together as a whole, the three of you have given me the calm and perspective I’ve sought and preached about during a few of my more self-righteous moments. The calm I pretended to possess, when inside I was raging and warring with self-doubt and insecurity. Now the things I’ve always said don’t matter actually don’t, and the things that do matter are no one’s business but my own. The days are indeed ridiculously busy, and there is never enough time in the day, but I am happy. I have everything I could ever want. And how many people get to say that in this crazy life?

I love you always, Mom

The right place at the right time

Posted on November 21, 2012 by Manu Powers

I did something unforgivable today. Simply horrible. It undoubtably sits at the top of every mother’s “do not do this EVER” list. I left my baby in the car. Pause for reeling, gasping and hyperventilating. Let me clarify- the car … Continue reading →

Tantrums are fun. Wait…I think I’ve got that wrong.

Posted on October 23, 2012 by Manu Powers

As I type, my 3 year old son is screaming in the next room. Screaming as if a giant asteroid was hurtling towards the planet and about to crash directly into our little town. Or, as in this case, he … Continue reading →

The Tooth Fairy Cometh

Posted on September 23, 2012 by Manu Powers

The tooth fairy came the other night. Prior to her arrival, there was great debate about exactly how much money should be tucked under the pillow. Are some teeth more valuable than others? Apparently, yes, they are. Does the amount even matter if toothless Joe over here doesn’t even understand the concept of money? No, as it turns out. If he awoke to 25 dimes, he’d think he hit the jackpot versus one single ten dollar bill. Liam & I received fifty cents when we were little. Should we take inflation into account? Us kids could buy ourselves a couple gobstoppers with that kind of dough rattlin’ around in ours pockets. These days? Not so much. But interestingly enough, we recall exactly what we got for our teeth from the then tight pursed tooth fairy. So, I suppose the memory of the reward lives long into adulthood and therefore carries some weight. Having come to that conclusion, I feel less like a ridiculously overindulgent parent than I did when I first began this entry. I’m sure you agree.

I was born to do this.

Posted on September 21, 2012 by Manu Powers

I was born to do this. Blogging? Not necessarily. Motherhood? Yes, ma’am. Domestication? I love it. We’ll see how the whole blogging thing goes. Just to clarify, I don’t think that I am particularly good at manifesting domestic bliss, it’s just that I get a very distinct sense of purpose and fulfillment from it. I find it to be the most worthy way I’ve spent my time yet, as well as the most challenging and enlightening. You’ve heard all this maternal drivel before I know, I know. But, as this is to be a record to the offspring, it’s important to state. As a young girl, there were a few things I really wanted to do: wing-walk (yes, on a biplane, sans the clown suit), sail around the world alone (I sailed across Lake Michigan with some guy. Does that count?), and have children. Well, one out of three ain’t bad, right? But three kids is…..well, it’s a lot of kids frankly. But I’m quite proud of the fact that they’re all alive, happy, healthy and not too bad to look at either. If you asked me that is…

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